Was today typical?
When you ask someone, “Was today typical?” you usually get a sigh and a mumbled, “Same old, same old.” Not from me. My “typical” day would make even the most seasoned reality TV producer raise an eyebrow, and then probably pitch it to Netflix.
Here, for the record, is a recap of my Tuesday:
8:00 AM: I start the day with a meditation app. It is supposed to be guided, but somehow I end up in a conversation with a British hedgehog named Bartholomew about the philosophical implications of belly rubs. He has clearly given the subject more thought than I have.
9:30 AM: On my commute, I get stuck behind a parade of llamas. Apparently, it is “National Llama Appreciation Day.” I did not know. Bartholomew did. He is surprisingly well-informed for a hedgehog.
12:00 PM: My lunch break takes a turn when I accidentally walk into a flash mob performing a synchronized interpretive dance about the history of the spork. Obviously, I join in.
2:45 PM: My boss catches me practicing my llama mating call. Please do not ask. Surprisingly, he is not mad. He is taking notes.
5:00 PM: On my way home, I help a group of elderly ladies cross the street. They turn out to be a retired roller derby team, and they challenge me to a race. I accept, because why not? I lose, but I gain some awesome new friends named “Mauler” and “Betty the Bruiser.”
7:30 PM: Dinner is a gourmet meal of microwave popcorn and questionable leftovers, eaten in front of a documentary about competitive cheese rolling. I give serious thought to becoming a professional cheese chaser.
10:00 PM: Bedtime story with my cat, Mr. Mittens, who insists on narrating his own version, complete with dramatic sound effects. It is surprisingly captivating.
So, was today typical? In the grand scheme of my life, absolutely. By the standards of what society considers “normal,” not so much. I would not have it any other way.
Life is too short for “same old, same old.” Accept the absurdity, chase the llamas, and dance like no one is watching, even if they very much are.
Disclaimer: No hedgehogs or llamas were harmed in the making of this blog post. The roller derby team, however, may be plotting their revenge.
