What relationships have a positive impact on you?
They say you can’t choose your family. Whoever “they” are, they are not wrong. Family is the pre-packaged deal you get at birth, complete with its quirks, its eccentricities, and a great deal of history you had no part in creating.
Sometimes you win the family lottery and get the supportive, loving bunch that cheers you on through thick and thin. And sometimes you get the relatives who specialize in passive-aggressive comments and unsolicited advice, and who push your buttons as if they are playing a symphony of your deepest insecurities.
Those relationships may not scream “Hallmark movie,” but they can be surprisingly effective at shaping who you become. It is emotional judo: you learn to use their negativity to propel yourself forward.
The thing about family is that they know exactly where to poke and prod to get a reaction. They have had years of practice. But that also means they are giving you, entirely by accident, a crash course in self-awareness. Every snide remark and every dismissive gesture becomes a chance to understand your own triggers and develop coping mechanisms that would make a therapist proud.
Think of it as character-building. (“Trauma” sounds a bit dramatic, even for family.) You learn to set boundaries faster than a ninja can put up a bamboo forest. You develop the patience of a saint, or at least the ability to count to ten before delivering a sarcastic retort. And you learn to deflect criticism the way a Jedi deflects laser beams.
So maybe your family is not the picture-perfect clan you see in holiday commercials. Maybe your childhood was not a non-stop parade of unconditional love and support. Those less-than-ideal relationships have still equipped you with the emotional resilience of a superhero, and that is something worth being thankful for.
Family is family. Even if they drive you crazy sometimes (fine, often), they have played a part in shaping the person you are today. That bond does not break, no matter how many awkward holiday dinners you have to sit through. And there will be more.
