Muthoni Mutonyi

I am 50. And today, I learned to dive.

Not metaphorically. Literally, head first, into a swimming pool, with the help of my two nephews, aged 6 and 8.

Some context. I have a swimming competition next week, and it has been bothering me that I could not muster the courage to dive. I think it goes back to a childhood memory of a classmate who hit the bottom of the pool with his head and came up bleeding. That picture has had me entering pools feet first ever since.

So my birthday lunch with my siblings, their spouses and their children had a second agenda. Everyone else came to eat. I came on a mission. (I am not built for sitting around doing nothing, even on my own birthday.)

Here is the thing about determination: it does not cancel fear. I had fully decided. I still stood at the edge of that pool for at least three minutes, negotiating with myself, with two very small coaches waiting. Then I went in. Then again. Each attempt was a little better than the last, and somewhere in there the barrier in my mind gave way. For the record, my head and the bottom of the pool never met.

We also went to church, and the sermon was on Daniel 1. Daniel was in exile in Babylon, surrounded by a new language, a new culture and new comforts, all of it quietly pressing him to become someone else. He resolved to stay faithful. And God was with him there, giving favour, wisdom and opportunity in a place he never chose.

Two lessons from Day 0:

1. Know what you will not trade. Life may not follow our plans, and the pressures around us can slowly reshape our values and identity. Daniel lived wisely where he was without losing what mattered most. Faithfulness is not a guarantee of an easy outcome. It is the assurance that God is with us, and that fruit can still grow in difficult places.
2. You can be determined and scared at the same time. Courage is not waiting for the fear to leave. It is hesitating for three minutes and going in anyway, then doing it again until your mind catches up with your decision.

Fifty days ago I started counting down. Along the way it became less about the number and more about different strokes: each of us has our own story and our own way of getting into the water. Mine, at 50, now includes a dive.

Here’s to going in head first.