You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?
Picture this. I am trekking through the Sahara Desert (do not ask me why, perhaps I lost a bet), stumbling over sand dunes and cursing the sun. My foot kicks something buried in the sand. It is a dusty old lamp. Naturally I rub it, because who would not, and with a modest poof, out pops a shimmering genie with a dazzling smile.
“Greetings, mortal,” he booms. “You have awakened me from my eternal slumber and, as a reward, I grant you three wishes.”
Most people would wish for a million bucks, a private island, or world peace, which is very noble of them. Not me. I think differently, and I see this as a golden opportunity to spice things up a bit. Here is what I would wish for.
Wish #1: The Ability to Talk to Animals
I could finally understand what my dog is barking about. Most likely it is a warning about the grave danger posed to me by the garbage truck, which has come by twice a week for the 6 years the dog has lived with us. I could also have philosophical debates with pigeons, get life advice from squirrels, and perhaps convince a bear to share its picnic basket. And think of the stand-up material.
Wish #2: An Endless Supply of Puns
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.”
“What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.”
“I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.”
You get the idea. I would be the punniest person on the planet, driving everyone around me crazy with my wordplay. It would be glorious.
Wish #3: A Self-Cleaning House
This one may be a bit impractical, but a girl can dream. No more scrubbing toilets, dusting shelves or doing laundry. My house would be a sparkling oasis of cleanliness, and I would have so much more time for the important things, like perfecting my karaoke.
So there you have it: my three wishes. They are not world-changing or life-altering, but they would make my life a great deal more interesting, and a good deal funnier. I might even use my new animal communication skills to broker a peace treaty between cats and dogs. That would be a show worth watching.
What about you? What would you wish for? Let me know in the comments.
