Muthoni Mutonyi

What is something others do that sparks your admiration?

There’s something magnetic about watching a true leader in action. This is the kind who doesn’t need to raise their voice to command a room. They can disagree without diminishing others. Such leaders lead not by force but by force of character.

I witnessed this kind of leadership recently, and it stopped me in my tracks.

I was in a meeting with several women lawyers, all leaders in their own right. But one stood out—the most senior among them. What struck me wasn’t her title or her years of experience, though both were impressive. It was how she led.

During a discussion, one of the other women took a position she disagreed with. Here’s where it got interesting. She chose not to steamroll the conversation or pull rank. Instead, she listened and acknowledged the perspective. Then, she articulated her counterpoint with such clarity and conviction. You could practically watch minds changing in real time. She pushed back firmly—there was no mistaking where she stood—but she did it with empathy. She made space for disagreement while making her case impossible to ignore.

No condescension. No dismissiveness. No need to make anyone feel small to make her point feel big.

She swayed the room not by dominating it, but by respecting it.

The Power of Contrast

What made this moment particularly striking was the contrast. I have a female boss whose leadership style is, shall we say, more abrasive. It’s effective in its own way—things get done, decisions get made—but it often leaves a wake of tension behind it. Watching this lawyer navigate disagreement with such grace reminded me that strength and kindness aren’t opposing forces. They can, and should, coexist.

This isn’t about one style being “right” and another being “wrong.” Different contexts call for different approaches, and leadership comes in many forms. But there’s something undeniably powerful about a leader who can guide without grandstanding. They can be firm without being harsh. They can win an argument without making the other person feel like they’ve lost.

Why It Matters

We often talk about “feminine leadership” as if it’s a separate category, something distinct from “regular” leadership. But what I saw that day wasn’t gendered leadership—it was good leadership. It just happened to be embodied by women who weren’t afraid to lead in a way that felt authentic to them.

The senior lawyer wasn’t trying to emulate a stereotypically “masculine” leadership style. She wasn’t tempering her approach to seem less threatening. She was simply herself—competent, confident, and considerate. She used every tool at her disposal: emotional intelligence, strategic thinking, clear communication, and yes, empathy. She viewed empathy not as a weakness. She saw it as a strength. This strength allowed her to understand her audience. It enabled her to meet them where they were.

In a world that sometimes equates leadership with loudness and authority with aggression, it is refreshing. It is inspiring to watch someone lead with both strength and grace. This approach feels almost revolutionary.

The Takeaway

So what sparks my admiration? Leaders who prove that you don’t have to harden yourself to be taken seriously. People who can disagree without being disagreeable. Individuals who understand that respecting others and commanding respect aren’t mutually exclusive.

That senior lawyer reminded me that the best leaders don’t just win arguments—they bring people along with them. They don’t just state their position—they make you want to understand it. They don’t lead through intimidation—they lead through inspiration.

And honestly? That’s the kind of leadership worth emulating, regardless of who you are or where you’re leading.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​